Baseball Veeckonomics
September 24th, 2008
September 24, 2008 — OK, confession time. Hard as it may be to believe, I go to the ballpark for the baseball and not the free giveaways or celebrity appearances. Yeah, I know, I know, I preached the Holy Gospel of Veeckonomics in my About page. To atone for my sins, today’s post is dedicated to the lifeblood of minor league baseball, Game-Day Promotions.
The one-stop-kiosk for Minor League Baseball promotional happenings across the country is Ben’s Biz Blog at MiLB.com. One particularly creative event is the annual Awful Night hosted by the Altoona Curve, with my fave feature of the evening being the post-game “Laaser Light Show.” Or how about this lip-smacking crowd-pleaser? A mascot race featuring Pork Roll, Fried Egg (sunny side up) and Cheese (hmmm, looks like cheddar). If the Salt Lake franchise offered a Big Poppy giveaway to honor the popular slugger who spent all of 1999 at Triple-A with us, I bet people would be camped out overnight. (Well, OK, maybe not.) But check it out. How cool is this?
As an added bonus. . .
Thanks to several minutes of intensive “Google” research referenced against the newly unearthed Ro-sabr-stone of baseball archeology, you dear readers, can bear witness to the first-ever complete translation of the original commandments of baseball promotions.
Ten Commandments
of Minor League Promotions
ONE: I, Baseball, am the Lord your God
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 Photo credit | FutureAngels.com | Used with permission. |
TWO: Thou shalt have no other football, basketball, hockey, soccer, NASCAR or curling before me
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THREE: Thou shalt make for your worshippers as many Bobbleheaded idols as possible
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FOUR: Thou shalt willfully make wrongful use of the names of MLB ballplayers and turn them into Zooperstars
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FIVE: Remember the 144 Sabbaths of Summer and keep them holy by getting your a*s to the ballpark
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SIX: Honor thy Groundskeeper Father and Ticket-Sales Manager Mother
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SEVEN: Thou shalt not murder Bee Gees and Commodores albums, a.k.a. Disco Demolition Night
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EIGHT: Thou shalt not commit adultery with your neighbor’s wife, unless doing so boosts ticket sales by 10%
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NINE: Thou shalt at every opportunity bear false witness against your Major League neighbor and steal his fanbase
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TEN: Thou shalt not covet your Major League neighbor’s house because you know Minor League Baseball is a better product
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TEN: If thou desirest the job done right, send a midget to the plate
(Yes, there are two Tenth Commandments. So sue me. ) Bye for now!
Entry Filed under: Minor Leagues
7 Comments Add your own
1. Ben | September 24th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Thanks for the mentioning the Biz Blog, and excellent work putting together the commandments. They are truly words to live by.
Ben
bensbiz.mlblogs.com
2. BeesGal | September 25th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Hi Ben!
Thanks for posting and I now feel the weight of a season’s worth of guilt for having read your blog all spring/summer without the courtesy of a comment. Yikes!
I was spending yet another morning pondering over another amazingly creative promotion by the Altoona Curve, when it hit me like a 2×4 between the optical orbits.
The fundamental forces of the minor-league universe had been revealed to me in the divine patterning of these holy posts.
“Eureka!” I cried. And the rest, as they say, is . . .well, something. . .
Thanks again for the positive review. I’ll be heading shortly to your blog to return the kindness!
3. JACKSONS DAD | September 26th, 2008 at 10:49 am
WHAT’S SOCCER?
4. BeesGal | September 27th, 2008 at 1:49 am
Hi Dad!
HEY! I cut my athletic teeth on that game played in short pants and no time-outs.
Have you guys watched many Angels games lately? Since the Angels have clinched home-field advantage for the play-offs, Jackson’s faves ought to see some playing time these last two games of the regular season.
5. jacksons dad | September 29th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Jackson is listening in on the games via XM Satellite radio. Lucky for both of us he doesn’t have much homework yet. He doesn’t get to finish many of the games due to the 8:30 bed time, and the later left coast start times. However, we will stay up and watch the playoffs. Bed time is no longer in effect, anarchy rules at our home. Until my wife tells us otherwise.
By the way, I am glad you have weened yourself from the game of colored cards, and magic water. It would be so cool if we were Euros!
6. jacksons dad | September 29th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
One more thing, thank you for the awesome post earlier, Jackson thought that was so cool! His name was on the computer. A tool that is other wise utilized for playing PBS Kids video games, and looking at the Angels Website. He is very concerned about the .o53 average for Matt.
7. BeesGal | September 30th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Guess I have a thing for guys in short pants. I like hockey too and those guys wear shorts and GARTERS!
Although he’s been up there for a while, Matt hasn’t actually played all that much. Mostly he’s been coming in during the late innings. He’s had only 19 at-bats total, spread over 11 games. It’s got to be hard to get your bat going when you only have 1 or 2 chances a night, rather than the usual 4. Matt seems to get kinda antsy if his at-bat lasts for more than 6 or 7 pitches. Although, he seemed to do better the last two games of the season. And he made some nice, smart defensive plays.
It takes a while to get used to the Big Leagues. Look at how long it’s taken Brandon to make consistent contact. Jeff Mathis is still figuring things out and Sean Rodriguez too. Guess time will tell. . .
Tell Jackson I’m thinking of him and he’d better keep up with his schoolwork! Come to think of it, . . .I’ve got some homework to finish as well. . .
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